15 Negotiation Strategies to Deal with Irrational Negotiators

Negotiating can indeed be a tough process, especially when you're dealing with someone who is irrational. By definition, all humans are irrational but every successful negotiator will have come across extremely irrational negotiators, which usually includes their parents. Here at East Meets West Negotiation, we define extremely irrational negotiators as those who rarely acknowledge and address demands or concerns made, make very few reasonable concessions and offer extremely unfavourable terms and conditions that have close to no chance of being accepted. There are a few negotiation strategies you can employ, however, to try to come to a successful resolution even with extremely irrational negotiators.

As a whole, especially when dealing with extremely irrational negotiators, it's important to try to understand where the other person is coming from before forming a negotiation strategy to counter such negotiators. For example, try and figure out what their goals and objectives are, in particular, the significant factors that potentially led to their extremely irrational negotiation behaviour. This could include being paranoid about getting the wrong deal, or could even be due to their lack of authorization to make reasonable concessions. Once you have a good understanding of that, you can begin to form a strategy for how to best approach the negotiation.

As a rule of thumb, when negotiating with irrational negotiators, you must stay calm and level-headed throughout the process. If things start to get heated, take a step back and take a break if necessary. Even if your negotiation opponents lose temper, this is not an excuse for you to follow suit, unless you have decided that the relationship is not worth maintaining anymore. Do not make immediate concessions when confronted by irrational negotiators, as this could act as a further stimulus for them to raise inappropriate demands. Instead, you must learn to push back calmly and logically.

Here are 15 further negotiation strategies you can use to help you deal with extremely irrational negotiators.

1. Prepare ahead of time.

When you know you will be dealing with an irrational negotiator, it is important to prepare ahead of time. This means having a clear understanding of your goals and objectives, as well as gathering as much information as possible about the other party. The more you know about the person you will be dealing with, the better equipped you will be to handle them.

2. Be Flexible

One of the best ways to handle an irrational negotiator is to be flexible in your approach. This means being able to adjust your strategy and tactics on the fly, based on the other person’s behavior. If you are inflexible, the other person will likely take advantage of you and end up getting what they want.

3. Use Labelling

When you are met with an irrational demand, try to label the other person’s behaviour. For example, you might say, “I notice that you’re being very emotional about this.”, or that "You seem very angry about the offer I just made". The goal is not to make the other person feel bad, but to help them see that their behaviour is counterproductive, increasing the chances of getting negotiations back on track. You will also gain more information about what they are thinking when you get them to explain the reasons behind their emotional behaviour. In addition, showing calmness can often give you control in negotiations, since it shows that you are only focused on the task ahead and are not afraid of emotional confrontations.

4. Try to Find the Underlying Need

When you are dealing with extremely irrational negotiators, it is important to try and find the underlying need. Once you have identified the need, you can work on finding a way to meet that need without conceding too much. Learn to do more information digging and understand the reasoning behind their irrational offers and/or rejections. Instead of showing frustration or even anger, calm yourself and listen to their underlying reasons and needs.

5. Try to Bring in a Third Party

If possible, try to bring in a third party to help mediate the negotiation. Having a third party involved can help keep both sides more rational and focused on coming to an agreement. Remember that people are more important than the results. Focus on preserving the relationships you have and try to establish new ones. Everyone involved needs to walk away feeling like they were respected and heard throughout this process. While it could be challenging to resolve all of your differences, holding yourself accountable to these values will help maintain peace through tough negotiation scenarios.

6. Respond Courteously

Another effective way to deal with an irrational negotiator is to demonstrate courteous behaviour yourself. If you act calmly and rationally, the other person will likely do the same. Conversely, if you act in an agitated and emotional manner, the other person will likely respond in kind. By modelling good behaviour, you can set the tone for the negotiation and help keep it on track. Also, by focusing on the issue at hand, rather than attacking the other person, you can defuse a tense negotiation and help maintain a productive dialogue.

7. Use Soft Skills

Use “Soft” Skills: There are certain “soft” skills that can be very effective when dealing with an irrational negotiator. These include active listening, empathy, and rapport building. By using these skills, you can encourage the other person to open up and share their thoughts and feelings. Often, when a person feels understood, they will be inclined to work with you towards a mutually beneficial agreement.

8. Allow the Other Person to Save Face

One of the biggest mistakes you can make is humiliating or shaming the other person during negotiations. Even though it may seem like an effective tactic, it will almost certainly backfire in the long run by breeding resentment and closing off any chances of forging a future relationship. Whenever possible, try to allow the other person to save face—even if that means sacrificing some short-term gain on your part.

However, if you feel that your opponent is emboldened when they sense your retraction, remember to go on the offence immediately to show that you are willing to stand up for yourself no matter the cost when your "red line" is breached. Some negotiators see retraction as weakness unfortunately and it is your responsibility to uphold your reputation as a strong but reasonable negotiator.

9. Remain Assertive

One of the best ways to handle an irrational negotiator is by remaining assertive yourself. This doesn’t mean matching their level of aggression—instead, it means keeping your emotions in check. If you give into their demands, or let their tantrums throw you off balance, they will win, which can spell disaster for you.

Whilst remaining assertive, it is still advisable to find some common ground that both sides can agree on. This can be difficult with an irrational negotiator, but it’s worth a try, given that a deal is still better than no deal according to your judgement. If you can find even a small concession that both sides can live with, it may be enough to diffuse the situation and allow negotiations to continue.

10. Find out what their BATNA is.

No matter how irrational a negotiator is, everybody still has a BATNA, though it may take you more effort to dig out such information from extremely irrational negotiators. As soon as you’ve figured out what their BATNA is, you can structure a beneficial deal for yourself. Having more information is nearly always better than less in any negotiations.

11. Let them do the padding and anchoring while thinking that they are manipulating you all along! (You should do the same of course).

Extremely irrational negotiators often consciously or unconsciously anchor extremely or make extreme offers. If they are being manipulative by intentionally anchoring unreasonably to gain an edge in negotiations, remain relaxed and formulate your counter-attack. Sometimes, the only option is to fight fire with fire. A useful negotiation strategy is to ignore their anchors whilst anchoring more aggressively yourself. For instance, you can try stating your offers 10-20% higher than what you have originally decided.

12. Listen more than you talk, but keep pushing for what you want

In order to be a successful negotiator, it is important to learn to listen more than you talk. This skill can be difficult to master, but it is essential in order to build strong relationships and to understand the needs of others, even in the face of irrational negotiators. The more someone talks, the more useful information you can obtain to use it to your advantage in future negotiations. Again, finding out the underlying reasons of their irrational behaviour is important for you to reframe your offer and push for what you desire. Do not be thrown off by aggressive negotiators - the rule of thumb for all negotiations is to keep pushing for what you want (tactically and courteously) until the other side budges.

13. Use neutral language.

When you're dealing with an extremely irrational negotiator, it's important to use neutral language. This means avoiding words and phrases that could be interpreted as confrontational or aggressive. For example, instead of saying "I'm not going to agree to that," try saying "I'm not comfortable with that."

14. Be prepared to walk away.

The most important thing to remember when dealing with an extremely irrational negotiator is that you always have the option to walk away. If the other person is being unreasonable, doesn't seem to be budging, or worse, making threats, it may be best to end the negotiation and try again another time. Make it clear to the aggressor that you are not going to accept their behaviour - you may even gain some respect from the aggressor which you can use to your advantage in future negotiations.

15. Use their own words against them.

When faced with an extremely irrational negotiator, one effective strategy is to use their own words against them. This means repeating back what they say to you, but in a way that makes their own argument invalid. For example, if they say "I'm not going to give in to your demands," you can say, "So you're saying that you're not willing to compromise?" This forces them to confront the illogicality of their own position and hopefully see the negotiation in a new light.

Another useful technique is to rephrase their own words into questions that will make them stop and reflect on their negotiation positions. For instance, you could say, "So you are saying xxxx. Why are you being so resistant to this offer?" or "Can you help me understand why you're not open to compromise?" By forcing them to reflect on their own motivations, you may be able to help them see the bigger picture more clearly.

Try not to debate them or turn the encounter into an argument. Correcting their statements is usually counter-productive, as this will likely lead back to a continuation of irrational negotiation behaviour.