Negotiation Role Play Exercise 101
People often ask about how they can improve on their negotiation skills. The answer is, there is no simple way to improve quickly other than spending tons of time negotiating in roleplays and more importantly, in real life negotiation settings.
This blog/video will introduce you to one of my recommended roleplay exercise that I invented, which will seriously improve your negotiation skills. This is called the Negotiation “A/B” Exercise, where A means practicing negotiating from a position of strength, whilst B means negotiating from a position of relative weakness.
Negotiation Role Play
Based on our nature, character and personality, it is likely that we are more comfortable with one of the either positions. For example, I feel that I am more comfortable with negotiating from a position of strength, which means that I need to practice more on negotiating from a position of weakness. The aim of this negotiation “A/B” exercise is to help you figure out which role you are more comfortable with, so that you can develop a set of tools to help you improve on your overall ability to get what you want. I would say you should definitely practice this around 10 times within your first month of trying so, so that you can quickly gauge where your negotiation ability is at and how you should improve. In terms of who you should pick as your negotiation partner, it doesn’t matter if he/she is your friend, family member or a total stranger. The goal again, is for you to reflect on your mindset and psychology when you negotiate from different positions, so that you understand what needs improvement. We will talk more about how you should come up with appropriate negotiation scenarios for this exercise to go on smoothly.
Before you read on, feel free to check out some great sales role play exercises here @ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/5-sales-role-play-exercises-dramatically-improve-your-russell-mcguire/
To explain more about why you should give this exercise a go, think of this as an exercise of psychology and mindset. In negotiations, the party that often wins is the one that doesn’t wilt under pressure and can clearly understand the amount of “chips”, or “leverage”, that each party has over the other. It is easy for us to claim that we are good under pressure, but the fact is, more often than not, unseasoned negotiators will often wilt under pressure by making immediate concessions to demands, since this is human nature to satisfy others.
People often think that negotiating from a relatively stronger position is easier, which can be the case, but far from 100% accurate. Based on my observation, female negotiators often find it more difficult than male negotiators to negotiate from position “A”, since women tend to be less direct and feel less comfortable by being assertive and demanding. As a seasoned negotiator who has observed, joined and closed more than thousands of business deals, it is not uncommon where parties with more leverage give out unnecessary concessions as a result of feeling bad, or even guilty, about demanding too much. By experiencing negotiation from a position of strength, you will get a good idea how you will behave in real life settings when you have more power than the other. More often times than not, humans are uncomfortable with having more power at first, which can lead to sub-par negotiation outcomes. I wouldn’t want to use the word “Ruthless” as a criterion for being a great negotiator, but great negotiators can always detach themselves from feelings and emotions, whilst focusing on logic, tactics and facts. This is something that Donald Trump does very well, which is why he can often secure the largest concessions from his opponents when he has more leverage than the other.
Similarly, this exercise allows you to experience the mindset of a negotiator who has significantly less power than his/her counterparty. Again, some might assume that negotiating from a position of weakness is harder, but you never know. I know great negotiators who actually become more pumped up and energetic when they feel they are cornered in negotiations. However, it is vital for everybody who wants to become a good negotiator to become comfortable at being in a “low-power” position. Think about the amount of instances in which our negotiation counterparty has more power than us, especially when we are starting out in life – negotiating with your mum and dad as a child, negotiating with employers when you start out as a fresh grad, negotiating with large corporations and clients when you start out as a small business owner, and so on.
I would say the key to becoming a good negotiator from “position B” is to be able to stand your ground, whilst being creative. What I mean is that you must realize and articulate your own worth, since if you are of no value, you wouldn’t even be sitting in the same negotiating table with your counterparty. By being creative, I mean that you should think of creative ways to make the least concessions and get the most out of negotiations, enlarging your “wiggle room” with your opponent the best you can. Inexperienced negotiators often feel that they must say “yes” to every demand made by a more powerful opponent, but this is not the case. This behavior is merely psychological the actions of a “loser”, a result of not knowing your worth and lack of confidence.
After understanding the goals of this negotiation exercise and the typical mindsets of strong and weak negotiators, let’s talk about the 3 stage process to kick-start this negotiation exercise. Stage 1 is choosing an industry that is familiar to both you and your opponent to negotiate on. That is, reflect on your work experience and interests. This will allow the both of you to set up the necessary, and accurate parameters to frame the negotiation scenario. If needed, you can also do some extra research on various industries to come up with a more realistic negotiation scenario. Some realistic scenarios can include: Negotiating on the expansion of a factory, negotiating on a reduction of prices with contractors and negotiating on a salary increase with an employer.
After setting up the parameters and coming up with a business negotiation scenario that makes sense, select either position A or position B.
In the meantime, start brainstorming on possible negotiation scenarios. An important note is to make sure that what you are negotiating on is realistic, yet simple enough so that you are only negotiating with another party. This exercise is not designed for 3 or more negotiation parties, since the point of this “A/B” exercise is for you to experience the difference in mindsets of somebody who is in a position of strength, as well as in a position of weakness. If you wish to find complex negotiation exercises that involve 3 or more parties, you may go online and visit the Harvard Business School, where they have designed complex negotiation exercises.
Some other tips when coming up with a realistic negotiation scenario is to figure out the reasons and goals behind a negotiation. Make a list of these with your partner and as mentioned above, set up a few realistic parameters for this negotiation to be based on, so that the negotiation doesn’t go off rail.
BTW, for more negotiation simulations and exercises, check out Harvard’s webpage on negotiations here: https://www.pon.harvard.edu/daily/teaching-negotiation-daily/the-best-negotiation-exercises-role-plays-and-videos-for-the-new-semester/
After selecting your character and finalizing the negotiation scenario, spend 15-20 minutes on your own to figure out your preferred negotiation outcome, demands, possible concessions, as well as how you will approach the negotiation. Afterwards, start negotiating with your partner. It may seem daunting and awkward to negotiate in an artificial negotiation setting, but remember that the key is for you to experience and reflect on your mindset during negotiations, become comfortable in asking for demands, rejecting concessions and getting what you want in the end. After negotiating, immediately switch sides with your partner and follow the above process. After finishing 2 rounds of negotiations, reflect with your partner on what could have been done better. In particular, ask each other how you both felt during the negotiations and what your respective mindsets were in position A and position B.
This brings us to the first outcome of this negotiation exercise – understanding the differences and mindsets in various negotiation positions. Perhaps you might be more aggressive than you thought when negotiation from position A, or perhaps you might be more scared that you thought you would be when faced with a barrage of demands from your opponent when you are in position B. Based on my experience, people who participate in this exercise will often be taken aback by how different they would react during negotiations, compared to how they thought of themselves in real life. Some people are born negotiators but more often times than not, we are more vulnerable than we think we are when we first starting negotiating seriously. The key takeaway is to figure out how and why you behaved during the negotiations, and how you can improve your mindset going into future negotiations.
The second outcome from this exercise is to learn how to deal with pressure. There are typically a few categories of where pressure comes from in negotiations: The pressure of asking too much or too little, as well as the pressure of succumbing to demands and making concessions. My key takeaway when I first tried out this exercise is how much and how quick I conceded once my opponent began making demands, especially if my opponent was from a position of strength. To be a good negotiator, I always stress the importance of standing your ground, which comes from believing what you are asking for. Always remember your purpose of coming into negotiations and never concede if you feel you are treated unfairly. Pressure can do weird things to even the strongest of negotiators. The key to improving as a negotiator is the ability to think straightly and logically in the face of adversity. You must always be aware of not just your own feelings, but how your opponent is feeling and how the negotiation surroundings or circumstances are changing. This is so that you can learn never to bow down under pressure, though obviously easier said than done.
Finally, our recommendation for you is to just keep on practicing negotiation. It sounds lame but that is the only way you will improve. Through the negotiation “A/B” exercise I have outlined in this video, try and become more aware of your psychological changes when faced with demands and concessions. More often than not, a negotiation’s success is determined by how you respond to such demands, threats and concessions. That is, whether you manage to hold your ground under the pressure of giving in. As I always say, one must learn to resist the pressure of giving in to become a successful negotiator, although obviously one must also learn to realize when he or she should be giving appropriate concessions, which is another topic we will cover in the future.
Hope you enjoyed this blog/video and see you in our next blog/video!
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